Wednesday, January 20, 2010

marriage scene

setting: jones home, 9:40 p.m. by lamplight, mr. jones is cutting some excess athletic tape holding one of the missus's medical devices onto her unreachable back. both characters are obviously fatigued -- the wife from a day of being enormously pregnant, the husband from a day of lectures, labs (which frequently involve weird procedures on rats) and bus-ride commuting. the process is slow-going, and the mister has intense concentration wielding nose hair trimmers closer to his wife's skin than she is comfortable.

missus: be careful. you're going to snip me.
mister: i'm not going to snip you.
missus: well, could you watch it? you're taking a long time and making me nervous.

(period of silence)

missus: (obviously getting increasingly exhausted) seriously, be careful!
mister: honey, i am not going to snip you. PLEASE, (making grandiose gesture with both arms) these hands have removed rat uteruses.

(hysterical laughter ensues.)

end scene.

6 comments:

Stephanie said...

well i felt like i was there! thanks for the much needed laugh this evening.

Ali said...

seriously, they have?! He has dealt with a rat's uterus?! Wow, his resume' (sp?) blows mine out of the water!

Great writing (as usual)!!

melissa said...

who can argue with those hands now? not me.

B said...

all I can ever respond is how much I love and miss you two. But I would trust anyone that know how to remove a rat uterus

Zan said...

standing ovation at the conclusion of that scene. good drama, brilliant wit, insights into the Jonesian psyche; this piece has it all.

Carrie said...

Hahaha that is so me. "ben you are freaking me out! are you sure you can handle this?!" haha

You aren't going to go away and have a baby and never post, right? Because a) I like your blog (it's funny) and b) gonna need to see this little muffin. Just making sure you understand my needs here. :)