You can't really blame me.

Some days I have about a dozen things I want to blog about. And none of them involve the baby (yes yes, I know it gets old). But then we have dance parties when Jesse gets home from work.

Daddy picks the song.

Mom takes the bad video footage.

Penny busts a move.

And I completely forget that I had something else to say.

Video time: 11 seconds. She gets quite camera shy.

(These toddler dance moves are dedicated to my dear DEAR friend Bitty, with whom I have shared many a dance party.)

For all the naysayers...

She had her cake

and then she ate it, too.

And then she was one

Well, in her first year, this little darling had three homes, two crazy parents, and one sweet and silly personality to show off. I don't know how we ever felt anything close to complete without her. This was truly the most challenging, most frustrating, most exhausting and best year of my life.

Happy birthday, little one. Let's try celebrating without your miserable head cold this weekend, eh?

Sometimes the lemonade just makes itself

I've been going through a small rough patch. As one of my favorites would say, "They weren't the kind of thing you would run home to mother about. But I cried into my pillow now and again."

Then things started to fall into place. Everyone recovered from the stomach flu (even though it took Penelope more than a week before she was back to herself). My dead phone was not only replaced; it was upgraded. We finally got a new dishwasher. (That's right, boys and girls, my phone and dishwasher were both MIA for more than a week. I now know how pioneers lived.)

And even though things really were getting lighter -- though not necessarily better (life is generally good to me, you see) -- I couldn't shake the one big downer in my life lately: My little girl turns one this week.

One year old.

I've been planning her birthday party, which has changed at least a dozen times, for weeks in an attempt to get excited about it. But mostly, I can't help but feel like she's not my baby any more. And I'm incredibly sad about that. One of the most profound and breathtaking experiences of my life has been watching Penelope grow and learn and really become herself. And I love that, don't get me wrong. It's just amazing how quickly I have begun to feel unnecessary in the process.

A little less than a year ago, I was craving the day that the baby wouldn't need me for just long enough that I could go to the bathroom. Now she gets into anything she wants and is totally capable of entertaining herself. If she could open a baby food jar and figure out how to put a diaper back on, she'd be good to go. (I might be slightly exaggerating here, but only just.)

Today as I was getting her up and ready after her nap, she gave me a wonderful hug. (seriously, Penelope is probably the best hugger I have ever met. If you don't believe me, come over to our house with a pillow pet, squishy ball, or bean bag and just see what happens.) Then, out of the blue -- brace yourselves -- she gave me a kiss. A real life kiss on my shoulder. It was perfect. Slightly awkward. Totally sincere. And I hope she always proudly tells people that she gave her first kiss to her mommy.

Don't worry. I won't be letting her forget any time soon. Because, you see, it made my week. It was even better than finally getting a dishwasher.

Or an iPhone. But that was also really nice.

Half Birthdays *or* Carrying on the Tradition

Each February 17, I would get excited to remind everyone that it was my HALF BIRTHDAY! Well, Penelope was this close to being born on my half birthday. Luckily, she had the decency to come a early and save the day for me.

Well, today is Penelope's HALF BIRTHDAY. If you can believe it. I don't want to drone on and on about everything she does (because I know that I'm just about the only one that cares), but in six short months, she has become one of my best friends. And the best thing I've ever done.

We love you, Littles.

jersey shore takes boise

why not? i've heard rumor that the new season is in miami.

(à la melissa, the video is but 6 seconds)

will the real penelope please spit up?

let's clear the air

there has been some recent speculation that this lovely lady

(penelope A)

was named after this lovely lady.

(penelope B)

and while i can't deny that i utterly adore both of them, the fact is that they are both named after this lovely lady.

(penelope classic)

think about it -- she faithfully waits for odysseus AND she's a pretty awesome weaver. in fact, penelope means weaver (according to some weird baby name sites, it also means duck. which i guess is also awesome).

the weaving thing might seem silly, but did you know that there is a long, long literary history behind the use of weaving as a metaphor for poetry? it's true. i actually wrote a 20-page essay about it in graduate school (wordsworth was quite the fan of this metaphor). in short, the weaver is the first poet -- weaving individual strands/words together to craft a beautiful final product.

and my own little penelope is the result of weaving together so many of my own tender life experiences. she is the product of so many prayers, hopes, agonizing workouts to keep my blood sugars in line, tears, negative pregnancy tests, tears, prayers, all-night talks with jesse, and (did i mention this already?) more prayers. and she's more beautiful and precious than i could have ever imagined. and i can't wait to see how her individual life experiences weave together and create a beautiful woman.

now that we have cleared that up, onto some adorable displays of babiness from the littlest penelope (mostly so i have something to watch at work tomorrow when i am missing her terribly.)

and p.s. my first day back at work today was fine, as any sane person would have guessed. the crazy woman writing this post is ridiculously relieved.

and p.p.s. how awesome was last week's episode of LOST? i have been dying to say something on here about it. let's just say that penelope and desmond melt my heart. and i can't wait for tonight's episode.

merry unbirthday, penelope!

the littlest member of our family turned one month old this week. (i can't believe it!)

she wanted to share some of her favorite things about her life with everyone.

like her stylish wardrobe.

and bath time.

and quality nap time with daddy.

(for your sake, her two all-time favorite activities are not pictured: nursing and pooping.)

the end.