an incident from last night:
boo runs squealing from the bathroom
b: jesse! jesse! there is an earwig in the bathroom sink! kill it! kill it!
j: are you sure it's an earwig? it's probably just another beetle.
b: alright, well can you please go kill whatever just watched me use the bathroom?
jesse sets his book down, walks into the bathroom, and turns on the sink.
j (yells from bathroom): alright, i covered it with a glob of toothpaste so it couldn't get away. i'll take care of it.
b: toothpaste?
j: yeah, to hold it down so it couldn't fly away if it felt a little water, or heard the water, or sensed i was going to be turning the water on. i'm trying to just wash it down the drain.
b: really?
j: yeah. don't worry, it worked.
sink turns off. boo joins jesse in the bathroom to see him dumping mouthwash down the sink.
b: mouthwash? what are you doing?
j: what? it would really burn if it got all this mouthwash in its eyes. can you imagine how badly that would burn to get mouthwash in your eyes?
b: i think i see it crawling back out of the drain.
j: yep, i'll smash it. can you imagine how much faster it would have been if i hadn't blinded it with the mouth wash first?
thank you, honey, for always thinking up such elaborate schemes to keep me feeling safe.
13 comments:
torture! but for some reason, when it comes to bugs and creepy things of that nature torture seems not only appropriate, but like an admirable course of action. bravo!
I am laughing so hard that I am crying! That is an awesome story.
steph, i'm not so sure his intention was to torture (though he may certainly counter this comment with one of his own ridiculously witty comebacks) so much as he didn't want to have to touch the bug. i think my own massive fear of insects has somehow given him his own lessened case of the heebie jeebies.
laughter, just laughter. i feel somehow closer to jesse, now that i know how his brave mind works.
That was the funniest thing ever! Love it, love it. I wish I had a man to blind my cicadas with mouthwash.
I hope work is going well! I'm assuming this is your first week.... but now that I think about it I feel as though you start next week. So if this week wasn't awesome because you weren't working, I hope next week is awesome. I think I covered all my bases.
Did he try to smash it by quickly closing the drain, but then trapped it instead? Then pull out it's antennae using the tweezers so even if it did survive it wouldn't know where it was going and would wander blindly in circles until it finally met his end?
Loved the story. And also pass along I also enjoyed his comments about selling bedding for a Sears catalog. See you Saturday!
This pleases me. I feel like I am not alone in the world of anti-critters! Jones is quite the man! Too bad you live so far away cause he would be my spider-defender.
I would love to hear about the new job.
You two are wonderful. I love you both dearly
i try to vacuum spiders so i don't have to touch them. and then i make sure to vacuum up crumbs or any other hard particle that will bash it to death inside the vacuum bag.
and we thought bloody mary, queen of scots, was bad. =)
I'll have to remember these tricks next time I want to kill a bug that has entered my home.
How exciting that you will be starting a new job in IF. From what I have read from your texts, you seem very excited to be close to Target. It's a good store. I am there a couple times a week myself. We should definitely get together. Here's my number: 406-2334. I will be out of town for a week but call me anyway when you want to get together.
Mouthwash in the eyes would really hurt. It might be a better plan than spraying disinfectant on a spider and it sounds like it also had a better outcome. You and Jones definitely came with different skill sets. But i love you both just the way you are.
That just made my day! How funny!
Oh Beckruck, that's great. You and your hubby are quite entertaining! Cute story!
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