dark confessions

warning: the following list is not for the faint of heart (or those who are unsure of their intense--don't worry, you'll get there--love toward me).

fact: i have started playing a video game (it is called zelda for the nintendo wii) that involves me creating a character and interacting with other characters in a fantasy world. i actually play this game into the wee--no pun intended--hours of the night and--today--before lunch (does that mean it's an addiction?)
feelings: i am ashamed of myself for going back on my resolve to never do such a thing, and yet i am exhilerated by its forbidden nature.

fact: i hate my job, but i am getting so good at hiding it that my boss recently thanked me for being so positive and creating a happy work place.
feelings: i am either (a) glad that i have fooled everyone enough that my sarcastic "happy to be here" and "fake it 'till you make it" has come across as genuine or (b) saddened that i work in an environment that is so blind to sarcasm...

fact: because i never see the light of day, i have begun frequenting a tanning body lotion. this lotion, however, has turned all of my white towels a disgusting brown color.
feelings: meh. that's what bleach is for, right?

fact: no one in my ward will talk to me. no one. jesse and i spent an entire linger longer (with delicious crepes) sitting by ourselves at a table in a room full of crowded tables. it could have something to do with the fact that i introduced myself in relief society like this: "hi, my name is rebecca jones. i am working on my master's in english. (in response to the worried looks that indicate shock that i am not in dental hygiene or nursing school) yeah, i'm kind of a dork. i don't really recommend talking to me... it's pretty bad."
feelings: i am slightly saddened to be the ultimate social outcast, but it sure beats awkward church coversation, eh?

fact: i felt guilty that i had not posted on my blog for roughly a coon's age. however, without anything exciting to report, i created an entire blog filled with arbitrary facts about my life.
feelings: well, i enjoy writing about myself, so people probably love reading it, right?