the social education of sick boo

so, by now it's no mystery to my large readership that i have, of late, been afflicted with the nastiness of the headcold. in the middle of july. i must admit that it has likely been the worst cold i can recall ever having, but i was in denial. big time.

not only was i unemployed, living in my parents' condo, and dreaming of the day i will have legitimate reason to leave the couch, i now found myself lacking the physical prowess to actually get off the couch. daytime tv became my constant companion (seriously, ask me about any commercial currently on tv, and i'm sure i've seen it. my new favorites: the stride gum commercial where the goat rams the guy walking down the street and one of bitty's old favorites, the "there is such a thing as being a little pregnant." i saw it, and it was everything bitty had promised).

jesse had, however, planned a social outing far in advance: the opening midnight screening of the dark knight. i was eager to go, and despite my inability to keep my mouth closed for more than three seconds, complicating that whole "eating" thing, i convinced everyone i was feeling better.

after all, i wasn't new to the whole going to the movies sick thing. one time when i was dating he-who-shall-not-be-named in college, i had to take a box of tissues with me to the theater. i was told i was an embarrassment blowing my nose every five minutes. undeterred by the social embarrassment of being sick in the movies, jesse and brandon watched as i packed my purse full of alka seltzer, a plastic cup (to make said alka seltzer), cough drops, a box of tissues, the hobbit--for down time, and my slippers (aka my booties). finding myself justified to say, "fashion be damned," i put on my comfiest boise state jacket and confidently left the house.

ten minutes later jesse and i walked into the theater. i panicked. i suppose that my weeks of being alone in the condo and my recent acclimation to the comfort of the couch had not prepared me for the mass number of people swarming around to watch heath ledger's final work. i started to feel dizzy, but i persevered. because we arrived over an hour early for our showing, we had great seats in the theater--the kind of seats where no one can sit in front of you, so you can keep your feet perched selfishly in front of you the entire time.

within minutes i started to feel nauceous. jesse insisted that it was just the chinese food, but i found myself flashing back to another terrible movie instance with he-who-shall-not-be-named that ended with me throwing up in the garbage can in the movie theater lobby. let's just say it was my most attractive moment. i started panicking. what if i threw up in heath ledger's final work? would that be offensive? disgusting? i started crying. i couldn't help myself.

jesse offered to drive me home, but i knew he wanted to see the film, so i convinced him i could drive myself. he walked me out to the car, with me crying the entire way. people stared. i got even more embarrassed so i cried more. to shorten this tragic tale, i made it home safely and immediately fell asleep, only to wake when jesse came home three hours later, raving about the greatness of the movie.

although i'm sad to have missed the movie (i'm promised we can go together in the near future), i feel that i have finally learned that it is socially inappropriate to go to the movies sick. just another great life lesson.