this should clear things up

wondering why i'm so eager for summer?

because i pretty much envision it being like this.




i'm even planning on picking up a little french.

the job hunt begins

now that jesse has made his decision for his future education, and we have an idea of where we are headed for the next few years, the time has come for me to begin the dreaded job hunt.

while i am looking forward to this new chapter of our lives, let me be clear: i hate looking for jobs.

there is something incredibly nerve-wracking about trying to find a position that i will enjoy, that will use my education and my so-called "skill-set," and that will provide decent pay and--most importantly--health benefits. even more annoyingly, i hate drafting overly confident letters of application and listing out my many brilliant qualities (brilliant as i may be).

as i work through this process, i have learned that i am not good at selling myself. i am sure my mother will be relieved.

on a lighter note, here is a list of qualities i wish were appropriate for a résumé:

• Outstanding internet shopping skills
• Mediocre attempts at cooking
• Ability to prevent small children from placing even smaller toys in my husband's guitar
• Stellar laundry-folding and organizing skills
• Total inability to find multiple terms for "skills" that people would actually use

you know how it goes.

wishing my life away?

growing up, my dad always emphasized to never start wishing your life away. every time i start to say something to him like "i just can't wait until..." he interrupts me and emphasizes how important it is to live--and enjoy--each day despite, and sometimes because of, its difficulties. after all, no day will ever feel entirely perfect. it seems like sage advice from a man who has worked so diligently to make his life meaningful and has become a personal hero of mine.

still, there are days like today where i feel like i can't help but wish i were somewhere else, doing something else, so i'm just going to say it. i am so sick of school. i don't ever remember feeling this way in my life. even when i finished my undergraduate work, i left feeling like i had just warmed up. now i feel like even completing the simplest assignment is pure torture.

i can't wait until i'm done with my MA and can start enjoying reading again. i feel like the bureaucracy of the degree has distanced me from a close, life-long friend.

i can't wait until i am done teaching. i can't wait until i can stop having to deal with the dishonesty, laziness, and disrespect that i encounter from my students much more frequently than i had ever anticipated. i know that i have some great students, but i can't help but feel so bogged down from all of the crap that comes with the job.

so, while i appreciate the opportunity and recognize how great all of this is--life-altering and whatnot--i'm over it. sorry, dad.