a response to your query

recalling the blog author's earlier days, you may have recently asked yourself, "what has this little thing been up to lately?"

well, she has been

getting more not-so-little every day

attending birthing class with the husband ("they should call it the 'really, you will just be terrified after we show you all these gross videos' seminar," harrumphs the little one.)

(they call this the empathy belly.)

getting her weekly ultrasounds and semiweekly non-stress tests

(we call this the baby's dinosaur face.)

wondering where her ankles, feet and toenail polish have gone

wondering where her mind has gone

having a few emotional breakdowns

letting her house become a huge mess

breaking her promise to no longer post photos of her pregnant self

and wondering if the doctor will tell her on monday that the baby can come out next week ("come on!" cries the little one. "she is 37 weeks! that's full term! and she was estimated at 7 pounds 8 ounces at the last ultrasound!")

and now you might wonder, "but really, after that recap, what doctor in his right mind would let this woman care for an infant?"

beats me.

so much to say, so much to say

did you ever write yourself a letter in school that you were supposed to seal and not look at for about ten or twenty years? but then did you take it home for about two months until you found it again, ripped it open, realized how stupid the contents were and threw it away? (thus denying yourself the joy of reading it ten or twenty years later.)

i think i did that about a dozen times. and sometimes that's how i feel about my blog -- like it's this weird letter to myself that i am embarrassed to look at a few months after it's gone up. this time i am trying not to destroy sections i don't like. i think i (or jesse, or the little one(s)) might like to see it later.

so, here is a new time-capsule letter to capture how wonderful i feel today.

dear boo,

i feel that i have so very much to say, but so little of it may be of interest. maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, or maybe it's just a sliver of understanding of how much i am really blessed, but this thanksgiving was a blissful occasion.

last weekend, jesse spoke in stake conference with a general authority -- a member of the quorum of the twelve apostles to be exact. it was, in short, wonderful. he was given very little time to prepare, because apparently elder nelson wanted to see all the proposed speakers and take their names to the temple before any could be approached about speaking. nonetheless, jesse was perfect. he made me sob through the entire five minutes. (again, blaming the hormones here.)

we recently got the latest letter from st. jude children's research hospital asking for our donations. we love st. jude's and try to give when/how we can, but it has been much closer to home since my dear friend's little daughter, emma, has spent the last year getting some intensive treatment there for neuroblastoma, a pretty wicked cancer. when we opened the letter, we were so excited to see emma's little face (we know her!) peering back at us above a short description of her story. you had better believe that will sucker us into a better donation this christmas. i hope that my friends would consider the same. (yep, stepping out of letter speak there.) i am a huge fan of modern medicine and consider it nothing less than a miracle. it saves my life every day, and i know it has saved emma's four-year-old life a few times now.

last week at work, my boss pulled me into her office (generally a sign i'm getting a buttload -- that's a real term -- of work coming my way). i was shocked and delighted to find that instead of a huge project, i got an award for "working hard" and "running myself ragged" and "not sucking." and it came with a bonus! A BONUS! i didn't even know that those existed! it's not much, but i think it might be enough to buy myself fruit snacks for the rest of my pregnancy.

oh, and did i mention that we had three thanksgiving dinners this year? pie + elastic maternity pants = oh crap, i'm blaming that weight gain on the baby.

finally, the swell season concert jesse took me to for a late anniversary gift was phenomenal. seriously brilliant. but if they have hyperlinks in the future, and you have about thirty minutes, you can just watch this video and remember. see? didn't you love it?

anyway, i hope things are going well for you now. i also hope that they have finally developed the hovercraft and an easy way to remove all stretch marks.

love,

boo

oh, this husband of mine...

he keeps me in stitches.

you know those days where you get all bent out of shape by the fact that you can't really bend over like a normal person, and you grunt like a hippo when you try to get that second leg into your pants in the morning? and then you remember it's just going to get worse over the next three and a half months? no? i do. all the time.

sidetrack: somedays i am amazed that even though i really wanted to be pregnant, and i dreamt of it and prayed for it, i still act like i'm going through a ridiculous and unexpected second puberty. "what?!? my body does what?!? but i don't want to get zitty! i don't want my butt to get bigger! i don't like leg cramps! i don't want to get the worst haircut of all time!" (though the last one isn't attributed to my baby, i am blaming my stylist's pregnancy. so it is all related.) someone in this house tends to act like a baby. and it tends to be the person carrying the baby.

back on track: jesse shrugs it off. and sometimes it is irritating. but tonight, after a dinner where i complain for about 30 minutes, jesse says, "let's make like the germans and get the french out of here. I JUST MADE THAT UP! that was completely unfunny but hilarious! let's see who can think of the worst way to say we should leave..." (we do this kind of "let's see who can make the least funny joke possible" competition on a fairly regular basis.)

then all the way out to the car, i hear a rambling that consists of the following:

let's make like the operator of a sewage treatment plant and get the crap out of here.

let's make like the lakers and get the jazz out of here.

let's make like an exorcist and get the hell out of here. (he was getting quite excited by this point in time.)

let's make like ex-lax and...

you get the idea. for ten minutes. and of course, i had nothing. i am not that quick anymore, and i -- continuing the pity party -- say to the husband, "i can't do this, honey. the word games are not so easy for me these days. i'm just not that smart."

"that's not true," he replies. "you are very good at math!"

and that's when i remembered one of the many reasons i married him. you need someone who can make you laugh at yourself. and he does it for me all the time.

(demonstration of jesse cracking me up at our engagement photo shoot)

what a blessing. i hope it never changes.

the question of mani-pedis on a warm wednesday evening

(can you tell that headlines are not my strength?)

once, around eighth grade, my entire family decided to get a pedicure for a family outing. i am nearly certain this was my dad's attempt at bonding with his daughters. i mostly remember it as the day dad got pink toenails and another human being actually touched cameron's feet. she will undoubtedly get a special section of cloud in heaven.

but that was my only experience with professional nail grooming. it struck me today, as i listened to a co-worker disgustedly tell me she hadn't had a manicure-pedicure (or, as someone in the know would call it, a mani-pedi) in almost a month, that i've never had a mani-pedi.

now, don't pity me for this. in my mind, it seems like a waste of income to have your nails professional trimmed twice a month (or however often you actually do it). but i do imagine it to be a wonderfully luxurious experience. rejuvenating. relaxing. absolutely girly.

so then i had to ask myself: what do i do in lieu of the infamous mani-pedi that maintains all of those needs?

well, i bought some FABULOUS fabric on clearance this weekend, but i have no idea what i will do with it. that is typical. i suppose that means that crafting of all sorts is out. i go to church, and though this is rejuvenating, i spent all of this sunday feeling like i was going to hyperventilate (can you say three callings, anyone?). so i guess that isn't quite the equivalent of the mani-pedi as i imagine it.

and then i remembered that i have weekly lunches with this little thing. and she makes me laugh. hard.

and i also get to have some great heart-to-hearts with this lovely lady (who is going on the same trip to england that i went on five years ago. but she is going as faculty! can you believe it?).

and do you want to guess how i feel after all of this? if you answered

rejuvenated. 

relaxed. 

absolutely girly. 

totally blessed.

you win five points.

viva la vida

there's a hill on my way home every day. i'd estimate it's about fifteen blocks from the freeway exit to my street. if fate is on my side, i can put my car in neutral when i exit the freeway, weave between traffic, hit the only stop light and coast all the way to 10th Ave. when it happens, it is absolutely exhilarating and the perfect ending to my commute.

that happened to me yesterday.

alright, here's where i try to force a metaphor between this and my life (be ye warned).

i love when i have days like that. i wake up early, my hair looks good, i like something i wrote at work, i go to the gym, the sun is still up when i get home from work, jesse miraculously has no tests/quizzes/homework due the next day, perhaps an episode of LOST is on (did anyone watch tonight's episode? DUDE). it's wonderful.

today wasn't one of those days. it wasn't a bad day, mind you. more things went right than wrong, but i was tired. on my way home, i made it about seven blocks, anticipating my only obstacle: the red light. i slowly pushed the brake, thinking that if i spaced it out enough i could still make it--even if i made the turn at five miles per hour. when i finally stopped at the light, i realized i had a choice. i could either accept this as defeat, or i could decide to make the most of it.

when the light turned green, i decided to give myself a boost and accelerated for one block. i still coasted several blocks before i turned. and you know what? it still felt pretty good. so today i have decided that i still prefer when the stars all align, but it's alright to push a couple of them around if necessary.


and, because i never have pictures, feast your eyes on these handsome boys (and me).

i am suddenly itchy everywhere

and i haven't blogged in a while.

my illness is now just an occassional cough (hooray!)
my halloween was a family affair
my life is lacking pictures, so you will have to settle for the cliff's notes
my job is getting busy, busy, busy
my two-year wedding anniversary is getting oh-so-close--speaking of which,
my husband is oh-so-busy
my last follow-up class for my MA is on saturday--then i can finally hang that diploma they sent me in the mail
my heart is full of gratitude for having a charmed life

and yet, somehow, TONIGHT

my heart is troubled over the future of our country that will be determined tomorrow. after months and months of contemplation, analysis, discussion with my brilliant husband, and prayer, i am still conflicted on the big national vote (you know, that one involving the oblong office). however, i do hope that the good people of california will vote honorably.

today i love my body

so, i've been absent.

noticeably (i hope?)

please don't take it personally, friends. this week has been a rough one, and the last thing i need is to alienate people.

see, early last monday morning--2:26 a.m. to be exact--i woke regretting the taco time i ate at the garden of eden truckstop on our way home from boise. before i could register feeling nauseous, it was too late.

i threw up all day monday. to make things more interesting, my insulin pump started giving me some serious troubles two hours after my first late-night vomit session.

my sweet husband finally took me to the doctor (even though i was crying that i didn't want to leave the house) because things weren't looking good. i couldn't keep down water and was obviously getting pretty dehydrated.

urgent care told us they couldn't do anything but call the ER, so i threw up in their office and we left.

we got to the ER, where i was told i needed to be admitted to the hospital for severe dehydration, critically high blood sugar, and the beginnings of ketoacidosis. i spent the night in the ICU.

it turns out this all started from a touch of strep throat. ridiculous sounding, isn't it?

anyway, i don't share this just to explain my absence or even for pity (though both are certainly motives).

i share this because i don't want to forget how grateful i am for my health, for my body, for good health insurance (timing couldn't have been better on this), and for my support system.

today, and every day, i am blessed.

more uplifting blogging to commence ASAP.

simple pleasures

sometimes i think life will be perfect when i have written something that is recognized as significant by the world.

sometimes i think life will be perfect when i have obtained perfect faith and act with perfect charity.

sometimes i think life will be perfect when i finally have what i consider to be a perfect haircut.

sometimes i think life will be perfect when i am a mother to a dozen wee ones.

sometimes i think life will be perfect when i have traveled the world over.

then jesse comes around and convinces me that there is little one needs to really feel that life has attained a state like unto perfection. this weekend all it took was some "cotton eyed joe" blaring, roller skates firmly strapped to my feet, quarters flowing into the arcade games of DeLeta Family Fun Center, a wealth of tickets to spend on finger puppets and plastic jewelry, and some time laughing hysterically with my best friend.

best.date.ever.

speech! speech! speech!

does this blog feel more official?
does it sound like it is coming from a productive member of society?
because it is.

i got a job. and i am thrilled. and it is BY FAR the best job i applied for.

in two weeks, i will begin working as a writer/tours administrator for the idaho national lab (inl). this job is fabulous for a few reasons:

they actually LIKE that i have a master's in english (who knew?)
the interview itself was so relaxed, fun, and interesting
it is in idaho falls, so i will be able to go to target on a regular basis after work
the health insurance is AWESOME
i get every other friday off
it pays significantly more than any other job i applied for.

so, thank you to everyone who said a little prayer for me or kept me in their thoughts. i have no doubt that those efforts helped so very, very much. today i have learned--yet again--that i am pretty willing to take whatever comes my way first, but that if i am patient and let the Lord help me make these decisions that he always comes up with a much better plan.

and that's today's thought. holla.

so poorly cast as a malcontent

well, as it always seems to happen, the moment i published my self-pitying declaration, things started to look up. it seems the Lord always knows just when to come through for me and show me that life really is much more of a blessing than a difficulty... no big news to report on the job front as of yet, but it looks like we are on the brink of something amazing, so keep the prayers/good thoughts coming. and to everyone who provided some words of encouragement THANK YOU. you made me laugh and, most importantly, you made me feel much better.

i have decided to use this post to highlight some of the positives about my life lately. i don't have any pictures of the house yet (i know, i really should get going on that), but I have enjoyed working on a few projects for all the new space. for instance, i am now the third generation of the davis family to refinish this dresser. my grandma refinished it some years ago, then passed it on to my parents--who also refinished it--and now i have had my turn. i quite like how it turned out.

i also had a gay old time making myself a table runner, as the dining table is actually used for eating now and not as my desk. awesome.

and yes, in case you were wondering, it's totally reversible. i'm not really great at the whole sewing thing (if you don't believe me, you can ask my dad. he always likes to tell people about the time i tried to make pajama pants and i sewed the whole thing shut. come to think of it, that would have made one lovely, pants-shaped table runner...), so this is pretty exciting.

another momentous occasion has been getting jesse a new bike to handle his transportation needs, particularly the need to get from one end of campus straight uphill to the other side of campus in ten minutes. i feel like we have now adopted a lovely, red, french child who lives in the back of the house next to our washer and dryer. welcome to the family, LeMond.

finally, and most excitingly, we are so close to both of our families. the drive to visit our parents seems so short in comparison to the drive from boise. it has been so great to be able to quickly make a visit... and to show annie and marion (aka mommy dearest) the thrill that is photobooth.

so, overall, life is good. life is great. life is blessed.

i'll spare you the metaphors about being tagged...

do you feel that more insight is totally necessary to understand the inner workings of yours truly? would, oh say, six random facts about myself lighten your spirits? dying to know six completely random items about me? thanks to my cyberfriend diana (not as creepy as it sounds... well, maybe it is) here you have it:

1. i was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at the age of 20. not so juvenile. this disease worried me greatly until my doctor happily informed me that i can still eat whatever i want. and i do. i guess you could call that a score on the chronic disease front.

2. i'm really average, but i like to pretend i'm not. i have an average face and an average name (seriously, i moved from davis to jones. i tell jesse that i hope in the next life we get to be smiths). there's nothing wrong with being average, but i get really sick of hearing "oh my gosh, do you have any sisters that live in des moines, iowa? because you look exactly like..." or "hey, are you related to any macphees? because you look just like a macphee" or, my all-time favorite discussion with a byu-idaho locker room worker, "hey, tiffany, i didn't see you in our class last night. where were you?" "umm... i'm not tiffany. as you can probably see by the student ID card i just handed you that clearly lists my name as rebecca." "are you sure?" i know they all mean well, but it irks.

3. i'm still unemployed. don't let anyone fool you into thinking that a Master's degree somehow increases your chances of getting a job. it's bullocks.

4. my husband and i just moved into a three bedroom house in pocatello--hence my absence from the blogosphere. the house is old but cool. and i found it on craigslist. and i ended up knowing the girl who listed it on craigslist from byu-idaho. and it's only $10 more a month than our previous one bedroom shack in boise. score.

5. i love french fries, but i don't eat any part of a french fry that looks suspect. if it is nasty brown colored, disfigured from burning, or incredibly soggy, i bite around it and throw the unfit remains in the garbage.

6. i have the world's greatest family, particularly my two nieces and seven nephews. yep, seven (well, the seventh will be popping out in december). apparently we can only produce males in our family.

and because i am really bad at including photos for my posts, here is a real-time photo of myself (seriously, i just took it for all of you) in case you forgot what i look like...

alright, i tag... libby, jil, jesse (mostly because your blog is really lame these days, dearest), and diane. cheers!

in other news, we moved

about a week and a half ago, jesse and i had our first big move together. because we are moving to pocatello in the next little bit, we didn't see much point renewing our lease or going month-to-month (particularly because i am currently unemployed and therefore broke), so it was time to move on.

i have been delaying blogging about the move for a few reasons:


1. i am still recovering physically from the exhaustion that naturally ensues after a big move (in our rush to move out, we didn't even think to ask anyone to help us move all of our furniture, so it was just jesse and i)

2. i hate blogging about events for which i have no pictures (all pictures used in this post are a bit old)

3. i am oddly emotional about the whole ordeal


i know that not everyone saw our apartment as lovingly as i did. most people walked in to our five hundred square foot, one bedroom cave and would make comments like "wow, cozy space here," which not so subtly translates to "how do you live in these cramped quarters?" however, i loved it there. it was our first place together and it really felt like home to me.

right now we are staying at my dad's condo in the boise area, and we're grateful for the free rent (and the extra storage space for everything we haven't had time to deposit in our storage unit in pocatello), but i still find myself dreaming of this...

and ocassionally this little nook...

but i don't miss the tiny kitchen so much, though there were some good memories to be had there (can you imagine the frustration associated with making an entire thanksgiving dinner on that mini stove?)

so, until we have new jobs and homes, for now we live homeless, humble, and happy.

over and out.

DONE!

all student-ly duties for Spring 2008 semester are officially completed.

if i didn't feel so exhausted and have such a headache, there would be frolicking of sorts.

conversation with jesse

b: missy says that i need to destress and be treated like a queen
j: yeah? i think she's onto something
b: really?!? (look of excited anticipation)
j: ... yeah... MUTINY!

bragging rights

was everyone aware that i own the typewriter on display on this blog? because i totally do.

did you know i took a swimming class in college, and i earned an A despite all predictions that i entirely lack physical coordination/athletic prowess? because i totally did.

were you aware that i drive a stick shift? because i totally can.

was it within your realm of understanding that i was bonneville county top county model (for my age group, of course. my sister also earned the title for her own age group) circa 1995? because i totally was.

is it in your ken that i once stared at claire danes for so long (in real life. i know, right?) in the airport on my way to stephanie's wedding that she actually moved to another terminal, and then i found out later that she was on my flight anyway? because i totally did.

did you know that i just polished off an entire bag of haribo gold-bears by myself in the library in the face of a fallen pancreas and strict rules regarding the consumption of food in the campus library? because i totally polished it.

if you answered no to one or more of these questions, we obviously haven't spent five minutes together in a long time.

*this message brought to you by the Foundation for Building Self-Esteem in Grad Students Gradually Losing Sight of their Long-Term Goals and Sense of Self (FBSEGSGLTGSS)

two weeks down

things survived thus far:


beginning two new jobs
a whole new semester of classes
a parasite
an ambulance ride/ER visit
a terrible chest cold
a deep scrubbing of my entire apartment
two weeks of not touching my husband (see number three)

it seems odd to look at these minor setbacks as accomplishments, but i can't help but feel an eery kinship to this image.

we're gonna make it after all.